tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19809924223946938932011-10-01T02:50:01.542-04:00This is my journal. It may not be interesting to anyone else, but I'm hoping it will be easier to keep it faithfully on the computer than it has been on paper. Then again, it might be interesting to some to follow the rambling thread of my spiritual, vocational, midlife crisis. If it is, welcome.Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.comBlogger601100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-89265297053766738852009-04-25T08:05:00.002-04:002009-04-25T08:10:53.407-04:00

After all, this is really meant to be my journal ... I like sharing with folks, but not everything. But I don't want to self-censor my journal because it's on the Net -- journalling is too good for my mental and spiritual health. Livejournal allows me to pick and choose which posts to make public, semi-public (to designated friends), or for my own eyes only, so I can journal freely, without a

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-68236666202924132182009-04-24T16:33:00.002-04:002009-04-24T16:37:01.171-04:00

I could spend money on a gym membership ... spend money on a tanning salon or bronzers ... spend money to pay someone to maintain my yard ... spend money on flavorless, pesticide-laden, petroleum-guzzling produce at the grocery store ... and spend all the money I can come up with on the PMS, it still wouldn't fix it.Or I could garden.Hmmmmmm......... I pick gardening.:)

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-36122485806333666952009-04-24T08:37:00.002-04:002009-04-24T08:50:30.681-04:00

My realtor just e-mailed me ... expecting an offer on the house over the weekend. *sigh* Now that I've gotten resigned to the need to get a real job ... now that I've gotten the veg garden all plowed up and ready to plant ... now that my neighbor is trying to help me rent out the basement because she doesn't want me to leave.... I still need to pray on it. I don't have a job, yet. I am

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-48371342395992869362009-04-20T17:53:00.004-04:002009-04-20T18:12:21.842-04:00

TragedyIf you missed the last post, the tragedy was one of those incredibly horrific murder-suicides, a man who killed his wife & 3 small children, and then himself. Friends of my brother and sister-in-law.I finally talked with my SIL. The slain woman was a close friend. They were in a moms' group together; where she says in her last blog post, "I volunteered to serve on the board of my Moms

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-68863231100263620482009-04-19T17:52:00.004-04:002009-04-19T18:01:47.181-04:00

I had my garden plot plowed up yesterday. I ended up with 8 nice-sized beds where I used to have 4. The paths between are smaller, naturally. I went today to try to get a pickup truck-load of mulch from Public Works, but there was hardly any there. Gee, I hope I won't have to buy mulch, I need a LOT to fill in the paths.I mowed my neighbor's back yard with my tractor after church this morning

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-20052743995287173392009-04-16T11:31:00.002-04:002009-04-16T11:45:29.043-04:00

I did my taxes yesterday (nothing like waiting till the last minute!). Unless I made some terrible mistake, I will actually get a refund for once. Wow. I will TRY to refrain from spending the refund before I get it, in case I did make a mistake ... but I don't think so! I think I will be getting some pennies from heaven soon (so to speak). Catch up on the electric bill! Replace the

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-28679079789313732652009-04-14T15:52:00.002-04:002009-04-14T16:07:42.422-04:00

I had my first job interview today. It went very well! I very much liked the boss, as a person but most importantly, also as a boss. The emphasis and balance of responsibilities seems very attractive to me. The challenges I would walk into are ones I'm really happy to take on. Work-life balance seems to be well supported.She'll be interviewing more candidates through this week, then her boss

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-17751879561638502362009-04-13T09:42:00.004-04:002009-04-13T11:37:32.834-04:00

I hosted Easter dinner at my house yesterday for 24 members of my family. We usually do potluck for parties, but this time I offered to do all the shopping and cooking and just let them chip in for the groceries. I had a couple of reasons for it:1, all our parties end up being the same -- they're terrific, I LOVE my family and we all enjoy hanging out together, and there are plenty of excellent

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-31927487167050793112009-04-07T12:07:00.002-04:002009-04-07T12:21:20.352-04:00

How many women do you know who are actually happy to receive their monthly visitor? Well, I am thrilled. I don't feel great, I've got cramps, but the fog is lifting. Whew. I am so glad to be really conscious for Holy Week, after all. It is a very powerful season for me.I got called for a job interview this morning -- a bureaucratic job, but pays well, and it's at USDA -- agriculture being

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-86268265336510414022009-04-06T15:49:00.003-04:002009-04-06T16:23:52.004-04:00

Today's more of a downer...... so far. Headache. Rainy and dark. Crow's starting to get broody and I haven't saved any eggs for her to set (I did break her up today, though -- she actually ended up laying one!) (Chickens stop laying when they get "broody", which means they're in the mood to sit on the nest and hatch the eggs out; to "break her up" means to get her to snap out of that mood).

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-63255501626441553572009-04-05T07:02:00.002-04:002009-04-05T07:14:39.275-04:00

Yesterday we buried Abbot Alban. He was 97 years old. He'd been the superior of this community for 30 years, from 1946 to 1975, when he retired. I didn't know him well, but I know he was loved and respected by the monks.We sang and prayed and laid him to rest in the little monastery graveyard, on a bright Spring morning with such a whooshing wind in the tall cedars that we could not hear the

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-19500658414723441852009-04-03T20:05:00.002-04:002009-04-03T20:16:37.707-04:00

I ended my last post, a couple of hours ago, saying that I was going to go out into the back yard, miserable in the throes of PMS (PMDD). I did, and so glad I did.I took a book & a cup of wine out to the picnic table (yes, I know I said I gave up wine for Lent. I gave up computer games, too, and haven't managed it). The chickens came over to hang out with me, so I put the book down -- I wasn't

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-75785412443275389912009-04-03T16:47:00.003-04:002009-04-03T18:03:17.953-04:00

More on female hormonal issues ... so if the subject makes you squirm, this is a post to skip! Sorry, this IS my journal, after all, not a carefully edited selection of spiritual reflections or agricultural policy papers meant to edify the masses. Maybe someone out there will learn something useful ... these particular problems are not well enough studied or understood yet.PMDD = pre-menstrual

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-73273941099864786642009-04-02T13:43:00.003-04:002009-04-02T15:56:32.090-04:00

I've been tagged! (This is so Facebook) :) Thanks to Michael at Love to Spare, here is my list of 7 facts about myself. I thought I'd better jump in fast, because many of my favorite personal bloggers have already tagged each other .... (I mean personal as opposed to news blogs, or the weather guys over at the Washington Post, or ObamaFoodorama e.g.)The rules: Link to your original tagger

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-33013578237586125682009-03-31T08:20:00.005-04:002009-03-31T12:04:48.304-04:00

As you may have already gathered, I am passionate about food. Especially home-grown food, or failing that, food grown as close to home as possible, as sustainably as possible. This morning's breakfast includes an egg laid by Crow, my little black Araucana hen, and some whole-grain toast baked by me, with nary a flake of white flour in it. Not the best bread I've ever eaten -- I'm learning --

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-21647093802785838832009-03-26T15:19:00.003-04:002009-03-26T17:02:00.276-04:00

Yesterday was the feast of the Annunciation, when the angel Gabriel came and announced to the Virgin Mary that she would be the mother of the Messiah, the son of God. She probed a little, to understand what he was telling her, and then acquiesced to this crazy plan without reservation. "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." The Annunciation is the

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-37573561537975877222009-03-23T08:33:00.002-04:002009-03-23T13:48:08.444-04:00

So the symbolism of the Black woman digging the White House garden did occur to another blogger, this one a black woman: Melissa Harris-Lacewell, at The Kitchen Table. Take a look -- she was dreading the slave labor references, but was, of course, pleasantly surprised by the actual positive reporting on the garden. She also recalls Alice Walker's In Search of Our Mother's Gardens, which I think

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-65124178673497006902009-03-22T23:25:00.004-04:002009-03-23T07:44:13.630-04:00

Eddie Gehman Kohan at Obama Foodorama has an intriguing post titled: "The White House Kitchen Garden At The Intersection Of Race, Politics, Food, And History". I encourage you to click over there and read the whole article, I haven't seen another one to touch this theme. She points out that "virtually no one pointed out both how historic and how potentially politically charged it was to have

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-48961642119926041812009-03-21T07:46:00.002-04:002009-03-21T09:21:30.380-04:00

Michelle Obama broke ground on the new South Lawn kitchen garden yesterday, accompanied by a class of 5th graders from a D.C. public school. I'm not sure why she chose a school that already has a garden of its own -- maybe it's the closest one to the White House? No, I just looked it up, it's nowhere near the WH. But whatever, the fact of the garden is fabulous even if they didn't bring

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-74609643555297810182009-03-20T00:13:00.005-04:002009-03-21T07:46:00.741-04:00

I watched Hotel Rwanda last night. It got me to bed very late ... I didn't watch it late, but it took a lot of fluffy internet browsing (ALL about Michelle Obama, LOL) to get it out of my head enough to prevent nightmares. I have added two books to my Amazon "Favorites" widget over on your right margin, by Immaculée Ilibagiza, a Tutsi survivor of the genocide. I've read the first one, Left to

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-18434018295644327692009-03-18T08:45:00.005-04:002009-03-18T12:44:35.578-04:00

Yesterday's scripture reading from the Office of Readings was Exodus 32:1-20, the "Golden Calf" incident. Moses had gone up into the clouds on the mountain -- what appeared as a "consuming fire" to the people below -- to meet with God face to face and receive the stone tablets and other instructions from him. He was gone for 40 days and nights.The people got antsy. "They gathered around Aaron

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-49587316027524161612009-03-15T11:36:00.004-04:002009-03-15T17:35:39.684-04:00

I feel lucky to be a Catholic, because we have this wonderful supernatural approach to everyday interactions with God. The sacraments are real for us, not symbolic. The most important sacrament is the reenactment of Jesus's last supper, called "Communion" or "Eucharist", from the Greek word for thanksgiving. When we celebrate the Lord's supper, when the priest repeats Christ's words over the

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-27812925466609370622009-03-14T10:35:00.004-04:002009-03-14T11:25:01.620-04:00

I stumbled across this, via Obama Foodarama, and I'm in -- but it's going to take me more than a week to run through the contents of my larder! I've got plenty of frozen veggies (peas, green beans, corn, collards, kale, green peppers, onions, edamame, broccoli, cauliflower), so when the fresh lettuce is gone I will not be deprived. Plus canned tomatoes & mushrooms, and dried sea veggies. More

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-1927521791254157422009-03-12T10:15:00.002-04:002009-03-12T17:53:20.098-04:00

Depression ... ADD ... PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, or severe PMS, hereafter referred to as PMS although I definitely qualify for PMDD). And I guess yesterday I got a little more down, just because this lingering cough is tiring me out.All that mental dysfunction is a lot to deal with, even without the added stress of job-hunting in a train-wrecked economy.Both depression and ADD are

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-41356002671019124722009-03-10T15:48:00.002-04:002009-03-10T16:28:38.502-04:00

Today's meditation starts with the antiphons for the psalms from the Office of Readings. Today there is just one psalm, number 37, split into 3 sections. The first antiphon is: Surrender to God, and he will do everything for you.The second is: Turn away from evil, learn to do God's will; the Lord will strengthen you if you obey him.And the third: Wait for the Lord to lead, then follow in his

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-84586515997388299802009-03-09T08:57:00.004-04:002009-03-09T13:48:59.960-04:00

The Office of Readings has been working through the beginning of Exodus since Lent began. I've been musing on the way God doesn't make it easy for the Israelites to escape slavery and come into freedom in the good country he promised their ancestors. He sees, He cares, He wants to release them from their suffering and lead them into a place of peace and plenty, but He doesn't just wave His

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-28622798516351160782009-03-05T08:33:00.002-05:002009-03-05T09:36:06.376-05:00

Continuing the theme of the last couple of days ... it occurred to me this morning that too much focus on one's own flaws -- too much penitence -- can actually be anti-Christian. Too much emphasis on getting my own house in order can keep me from opening it in hospitality. It's as if I think, I'm such a mess myself, who am I to think I have anything to offer others? I think I have to be a

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-20612960070273751672009-03-04T16:57:00.002-05:002009-03-04T17:55:27.112-05:00

I'm a wee bit down today. I guess it comes from being physically down, at the (hopefully) tail end of a cold, and this morning I had another nasty sick headache. The beautiful thing is that nowadays I can get a little blue without slipping into total despair and depression. I got MEDS. :) Seriously, thank God for effective treatment for depression. Today I'm just a little down, I still have

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-18486845744654048112009-03-03T10:57:00.002-05:002009-03-03T12:25:54.738-05:00

[Not journalling regularly, nor even reading regularly ... but I think I might be starting to get over this cold, so I will try to get back to it. Picking up with a post I started last Friday.]I've been doing my lectio divina with the Office of Readings (see the link to universalis.com on the right), but last Thursday I actually went off on a tangent from a footnote and ended up in Genesis 32-33.

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-54993544164551727742009-02-26T09:41:00.002-05:002009-02-26T09:58:37.782-05:00

Well, it's not supposed to be easy, is it? *sigh* I smashed my finger yesterday moving cinder blocks. It was excruciating. I rushed to put it in ice water, and took some ibuprofen, but as I sat there shaking what I really wanted was a good swift shot of scotch. Grace: I resisted. And thank God, it is not broken, just a bad bruise.I did my lectio last night, with the day's reading from

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-77633550838885616282009-02-25T10:23:00.002-05:002009-02-25T11:10:42.885-05:00

My resolutions:no alcohol & no computer games.exercise at least 4 times a week, strive for 6 (Monday - Saturday)spend at least 1/2 hour daily in lectio divina, journalling whatever reflections come out of itget out of my comfort zone with this job hunt. Today, that means making phone calls for "information interviews".one weekday Mass per week, let's say Wednesdays since we started todayReach out

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-40183418370468528182008-12-03T06:24:00.004-05:002008-12-03T07:04:19.412-05:00

Last night I watched The Brain Fitness Program on PBS. Well, I grabbed pen and paper and took notes! I'm in what I'd call "early middle age" (41), but already my short-term memory is appalling. I have always had a very hard time with concentration and self-discipline, a weakness which is making it really difficult to figure out and work my own monastic formation program, solitary life with no

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-18984256250619775162008-11-20T06:47:00.002-05:002008-11-20T07:46:05.100-05:00

My first renters left yesterday. It looks like this plan is going to work out, renting my house out short-term to travellers. It's a lot of work and worry, though. I worked so hard getting ready for this first group, the stress like to killed me -- and that's with paying people to help with cleaning, paint touch-up, and yard work. Even two days with the Trappistines hardly made a dent in the

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-29186552557261950752008-10-22T23:01:00.004-04:002008-10-23T16:59:08.192-04:00

Abortion is the poster child of election issues for Catholic voters. Just like the ragged kid with the haunted eyes on the Save the Children posters, the all-out modern assault on the unborn tears at our emotions. We are sickened, angered, grieving, and humbled by our impotence to protect so many innocent lives.I am just a little cautious about basing important decisions on such strong emotion.

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-88203617041712239682008-10-13T19:36:00.004-04:002008-10-13T20:29:31.340-04:00

Today was a very good day.Mondays I spend the morning at a hospice run by some very nice young nuns (I think it's their novitiate, actually). I've been struggling with it a bit. I wanted to volunteer to Bring Love and Hope to the Dying!!! To Share my Compassion and Empathy with the Suffering!!! You know, those lofty ideals. But what I am asked to do is to sweep and mop and make beds and hang

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-83607930134347177842008-10-11T20:34:00.003-04:002008-10-11T21:56:42.138-04:00

I've been reading back through this blog, and I just have to laugh. This discernment process has been up and down and around in circles! OK, so there are some essentials that have not changed: I want to live a life consecrated to God, dedicated to God, dependent on God. I want to live stability, conversatio mora, poverty and chastity. Obedience, not so much, LOL -- no, really, obedience to God

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-78012731644524807572008-10-11T06:59:00.002-04:002008-10-11T07:43:47.416-04:00

..... how to protect my private time? I keep thinking, "when I get out of town", when I get out into the country it will be different. But if I am to make any pretense at living as a hermit, I need to make some choices myself. I need to turn things down, even invitations to do good things with good people, family, community, even church. The new Chant Schola rehearses this morning. I want to

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-32057603144772224112008-10-09T13:16:00.003-04:002008-10-09T13:48:53.464-04:00

Yield not to temptation, for yielding is sinEach vict'ry will help you some other to win.Move hopefully onward, dark passions subdueLook ever to Jesus, He'll carry you through.Ask the Savior to help you, Comfort, strengthen and keep you.He is willing to aid you, He will carry you through.Shun evil companions, bad language disdain,God's name hold in rev'rence, nor take it in vain.Be thoughtful and

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-65140828068214038762008-09-23T13:05:00.000-04:002008-09-23T13:06:17.763-04:00

I am having a great time lately working on an horarium. That's Latin for schedule ... I could just say it in English, but then it wouldn't have that monastic flavor! I'm not just developing a schedule, I'm developing an horarium, a tool for ordering my day so that everything I do tends towards God.I downloaded a sweet monastery bell ringtone, and plugged the Liturgy of the Hours into my

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-14117001100480635902008-09-19T19:35:00.003-04:002008-09-19T20:33:26.385-04:00

I woke up this morning from a bad dream. I never remember my dreams, and this one left me with just one parting image: a young woman exposed in a public place, defenseless, degraded and vulnerable to rape. And sort of oblivious, on the surface, numb, like I was as a teenager.I stayed in bed another half hour or so to reflect on the emotions the dream had stirred up, to place my heart in God's

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-34032467500663143522008-09-16T07:05:00.004-04:002008-09-16T08:15:47.488-04:00

In the last couple of days I have run into two people from my old job. I left the job a year ago, and until now I'd never met anyone from there by chance, there are just a couple of people I've kept in touch with deliberately. Talking with these two has reminded me how incredibly blessed I am to have been lifted out of that environment. One man came in late to church on Sunday and sat next to

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-3887483982449288512008-09-08T18:53:00.008-04:002008-09-09T10:03:35.655-04:00

I just picked up the 12 & 12 (AA's 12 Steps & 12 Traditions), and opened it to a random page. The 7th Tradition: "Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions." I read it. The tradition itself, the one-liner, is read at AA (and other 12-step) meetings when a basket is passed for contributions to the group's support. But I don't remember ever reading the

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-71523930228967095542008-09-01T08:00:00.004-04:002008-09-01T15:42:04.964-04:00

John McCain says that Sarah Palin will be a great "partner" for reforming the corrupt ways of Washington. I think he's right about that, and I greatly admire her crusade to clean up Alaska's government and its relationship with big oil. But I don't think that that is the core role of the Vice President.The most important role of a Vice President is one most of them never have to rise to. It is

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-60538810671050524342008-08-22T12:06:00.002-04:002008-08-22T15:19:31.860-04:00

Today is my name day ... I was named after the Queen of Heaven, Regina Coeli.And here's where I feel my inadequacy as a Catholic ... I just don't have a whole lot of warm mushy feelings about the Blessed Mother. I can tell you why I think she's awesome ... she lent her humanity, her body, to the Incarnation. Wow. Her young girl body, her womb, contained GOD, all the power and glory and

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-26227067569298466862008-08-21T17:04:00.001-04:002008-08-21T17:06:36.721-04:00

So now I am addicted to the online recovery forum ... LOL But did not go to the face to face meeting today. Will probably go tomorrow, because I have many open questions about the role of AA, or the 12 steps generally, in my life right now. Why did this come up now? What am I needing? I had never let go of the spiritual principles of the program, except that I seem never to have grasped the "We"

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-83648864322006830652008-08-20T17:11:00.002-04:002008-08-20T17:32:41.421-04:00

I had titled the last post "Ongoing Conversion", then today's AA meeting topic was the 10th Step: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Cute. OK, that was a good place to be today. I realize that I never really gave up on "the program", although I stopped going to the meetings many years ago. But I think I could use a little kick in the pants, as

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-21657132347126839082008-08-20T06:44:00.003-04:002008-08-20T07:30:42.787-04:00

Or maybe the lesson I need to learn is detachment. Yesterday I was laughing at myself, "So, sister, you want to be a monk? So you're willing to give up sex for life, and you're balking at alcohol? You do know that's not normal, right?" Just then an e-mail from Fr. H: "In today's gospel Peter says to Jesus, 'We have given up everything and followed you.' 'Followed'. Insight: the following is

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-61611121617162397542008-08-18T15:48:00.002-04:002008-08-18T19:29:44.589-04:00

Did I say the great lesson I need to learn is to need people? Ha ha, I went to the noon AA meeting, and the topic was ego. Yes. Well. OK. I still don't have the first step down, but I will go to some more meetings......

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-70757068901995702172008-08-18T08:10:00.005-04:002008-08-18T10:32:12.811-04:00

I went to an AA meeting yesterday. Not happy about it. Why? I go on and on about how wonderful the Program is, how it saved my life, gave me God, yadda yadda yadda. 20 years ago. But back then, it wasn't about alcohol for me, and I don't want to give up alcohol. I like alcohol. I like wine, I like vodka, I like gin, I like scotch. I like caipirinhas and mojitos. I like beer sometimes,

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-1920064828118383682008-08-14T10:17:00.001-04:002008-08-14T16:25:05.491-04:00

Today's office of readings features an excerpt from On Perfection by Saint Gregory of Nyssa (note: this is the reading proper to the date; universalis.com has opted to show the reading proper to the saint of the day, Maximilian de Kolbe. Both options are correct). I am struck by how closely he reflects the AA Big Book and 12 & 12's discussion of the 4th step: "Made a searching and fearless moral

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-42792814351024224732008-08-12T21:33:00.000-04:002008-08-12T18:45:45.600-04:00

The week in West Virginia was wonderful, but I am having a hard time putting it into words that can really convey the experience.... It was about Silence and Solitude, a suspension of words, writing about it seems almost to negate it.Oh yes, I could live like that, happily. Hidden away in a little house in the woods, out of sight from the road and neighbors. With chickens and goats and garden,

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-31056798823679226162008-08-12T06:49:00.000-04:002008-08-12T10:07:37.704-04:00

Last night I found myself remembering a little bit of what it was like to be me as a teenager. Adolescence is hard for everyone, that's unfortunately normal, but mine wasn't normal. I had suffered from major depression since the age of 9, and by the time I was 15 I was a real mess. I was drinking and getting high, skipping school, and in a whole lot of pain. When I was about to turn 16, I

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-73506396790841227902008-08-02T08:52:00.000-04:002008-08-10T14:35:49.350-04:00

I am an INFP. If you don't know what that is, please google MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator); I won't try to explain it here. Anyway, I'm an INFP, with a strong tertiary T but a very weak fourth S. I actually scored "0" on the S scale once (that's rare); it's a little more developed now, but still weak enough that it is starting to dawn on me that I may never be a good "homesteader". I may

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-13594754510205084902008-07-31T05:59:00.000-04:002008-07-31T08:21:44.320-04:00

There is a young man who works at the food coop with me, I'll call him "D". Last week he told me way too much of his life story for having just met me: I want to tell him not to cast his pearls before swine, not to throw what is holy to the dogs. But that's a different subject. This morning I want to write about the path of the "warrior".D told me he was violently abused by his father until

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-13705737000727736702008-07-28T17:46:00.000-04:002008-07-29T06:50:04.414-04:00

I had an insight today. It popped into my mind when I passed someone walking a dog while I was walking around the lake. I had met with my spiritual director, Fr. H, in the morning, and he also heard my confession. We were talking about the sin of sloth, and I was feeling a little discouraged, because I just can't seem to break out of my lazy habits. Well, when I saw the dog I remembered

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-58248834473469303112008-07-27T12:29:00.001-04:002008-07-27T22:17:51.377-04:00

Came back from Mass and Crow was nowhere to be found. T drove around the neighborhood looking for her, Mr H went to see if she was back by the railroad tracks, nothing. Then T got back and noticed her lying in a heap by the porch steps, in among the thistles. Was she hurt after all?? No..... she's sitting on another clutch of eggs! The last batch of chicks are only 2 months old! This time

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-72130661376435342992008-07-27T06:43:00.000-04:002008-07-27T22:17:05.538-04:00

She's back. Whew. The next-door neighbor, AKA Superman, found her down across the street and somehow managed to catch her (she's not easy to catch!) and brought her back. I right away threw her some scratch grains (treats for the prodigal hen). The neighbor is AKA Superman because one time, he jumped the back fence (he's 70 y.o, mind you) and chased a fox that was chasing my rooster, around

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-4063930711626519472008-07-26T21:33:00.000-04:002008-07-27T22:16:39.868-04:00

My black hen, Crow, didn't show up at the coop for bedtime this evening. I'm worried.... Couldn't find her anywhere in the yard. She's gotten a bad habit of jumping the fence lately to get to the neighbor's bird feeders. Then again, we do have plenty hawks, raccoons, and sometimes even foxes. I have lost a hen to a hawk or fox before, but that time I found the feathers strewn around the yard

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-35257017619093068512008-07-26T11:13:00.001-04:002008-07-26T11:33:25.344-04:00

A year ago I had a very good income, for a single woman without dependents. I ate out often, drank wine daily, shopped impulsively. Then I jumped ship.... Also, I am a foodie ... oh, I love food. I revel in all the tastes and textures, always buy too much at the farmers market, let leftovers go moldy because there's something else I want to eat today instead. I planted too many cucumbers,

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1980992422394693893.post-65128463845391128362008-07-26T10:39:00.000-04:002008-07-26T11:45:20.367-04:00

Good morning, world. My name is Regina, and I am in the midst of a "back-to-the-land" midlife crisis -- thus Regina Terrae, the nickname given me by my spiritual director. The other, more important part of my little "crisis" is a more intense dedication to God (thus the spiritual director).I left my 19-year job as a bureaucrat almost a year ago, at the time firmly convinced that I would enter a

Regina Terraehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18387253477469996636noreply@blogger.com0